“The observance of Lent is the very badge of the Christian warfare. By it we prove ourselves not to be enemies of Christ. By it we avert the scourges of divine justice. By it we gain strength against the princes of darkness, for it shields us with heavenly help. Should mankind grow remiss in their observance of Lent, it would be a detriment to God’s glory, a disgrace to the Catholic religion, and a danger to Christian souls. Neither can it be doubted that such negligence would become the source of misery to the world, of public calamity, and of private woe.”           —Pope Benedict XIV

Every year our family follows the typical tradition of giving something up in our lives, of doing without something that will be a burden, something that will be a sacrifice to give up.  We always reach for the stars and this year is no different.  For example,   I struggle with food.  I use it to celebrate, I use it to console and I use it to fill up that God hole all of us have inside us.  This Lent I am going to embark on a Fast.  46 days of RAW juice, nothing more, nothing less.  Fasting transforms my life, it puts things in perspective and, after the first week or so (during which, Watch Out) I find a peace that is quite unusual in my crazy life.

We are all trying to convince Dan to do without energy drinks, but I think he relies on those as much as we all do  oxygen, so we’ll see, but don’t hold your breath.  And, as for the kids, I think the majority consensus amongst the boys is to give up all video games.  And, of course, you know, every year, without fail, one of the kids ask if they can give up school, claiming it would be a burden to try to catch up or a burden to not have learned something.  Ha Ha, they think they are so clever.   Then there are the kids who originally plan to sacrifice everything and anything because they want to suffer …  The dichotomy between these two “plans”  is  a great way to reflect with our kids about why it is that we sacrifice and deprive ourselves during Lent.

Now, this year, we’ve decided to spice it up a bit and not only give something up, but also add something to our lives.  And so, we’ve decided to pray, as a family, for specific intentions for others after dinner throughout Lent.  Some of you may have seen our St. Valentine vlog, KelloggShow Valentine Vlog,  in it we talked about how we made a prayer vase and we wrote out lots and lots of names of friends, family, priests, politicians, and even special requests from viewers and others on little hearts.  The plan was to pick a name throughout the month of February and pray for that person.  Instead we have decided to expand on this idea and practice it throughout the Lenten season.   If you have a prayer request, please don’t hesitate to let us know and we will add your intention to the vase!!!

After dinner, one or two or three kids, depending on the number of names in the prayer vase, will pick a name after dinner and we will pray for that person and the intention listed on the heart.   I also think it would be cool to write their names on a calendar and let them know when we prayed for them … many miracles are performed through prayer and we have our own little prayer army, (I’m thinking out loud here) I think then we could email them or send them a card to let them know we prayed for them on such and such a date.   Then the person lifted in prayer can look back and witness to any miracles on that day.  Oh that’s just awesome!!  Would be even more amazing if they shared it with all of us.

And then, because I’ve gone craft crazy, in fact I’m even learning to knit with Kady and Kerry (who would have ever thought?), we are going to incorporate some ideas I’ve had, but never incorporated.  I’ll post pictures if and when we finish these “plans”.

The first idea, is for one of our kids (mommy has zero artistic talent) to make a Lenten Calendar on posterboard as a visual countdown to Easter for the younger kids.  Something tangible that they can see as we work our way through the traditions of  fasting, abstinence, prayer and The Stations.  It will show, of course, Ash Wednesday, the First Sunday, Second Sunday, Third Sunday, Fourth Sunday (Laetare Sunday), and fifth Sunday of Lent, the Feast of St. Patrick, Feast of St. Joseph (March 19th), the Anunciation of our Lord (March 25), Palm Sunday (April 1), Holy Thursday (April 5), Good Friday, Holy Saturday and of course Easter Sunday.  I can’t wait to see what they come up with … I’m known as the idea chick, the kids bring the ideas into fruition!!  :)

And of course our fav, Resurrection Eggs … see last year’s post (includes a video) that show you how to make your own Resurrection Eggs, the story behind them and how to use this activity with your kids!!  Here’s the link:  Resurrection Eggs How To   They’re simply plastic Easter Eggs that contain  different religious Easter symbols inside to help kids learn the Easter story.  My kids love the being able to touch the eggs and open them to reveal an item and a bible verse.  They can pretty much recite the verses on their own now.

 The link above gives all the details, from ideas of what to put in the eggs to the corresponding bible verses.   There is also a link to a fantastic book, Benjamin’s Box, The Story of The Resurrection Eggs … check it out, we love it!

And finally, there is the pretzel.  The pretzel, believe it or not, has a deep spiritual meaning for Lent, it’s actually the most appropriate food symbol for Lent.  Why?  How?  You mean the same food served at bars has spiritual meaning?  Yep, and it dates as far back as the 4th century!!  Way back in the Roman Empire, the faithful kept a very strict fast throughout all of Lent.  They tet no butter, no cheese, no eggs, no cream and no meat and drank no milk!!

They made small breads of water, flour and salt, to remind themselves that Lent was a time of prayer. Now, there are several stories surrounding how the pretzel was born, one claims a monk saw children in prayer and shaped this bread in the form of crossed arms  as that is how the people would pray in those days: with their arms crossed over their breast while praying. Another claims the people themselves did this and called the bread  ”little arms”. From this Latin word, the Germanic people later coined the term “pretzel.”

Regardless of it’s true origins, the pretzel still is made in the form of arms crossed in prayer, reminding us that Lent is a time of prayer. It consists only of water and flour, thus proclaiming Lent as a time of fasting.

Here is a fabulous pretzel recipe:

Soft Pretzel Recipe~ What you need:

• 1 package yeast
• 1 1/2 cups warm water
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1 tablespoon Kosher salt
• 4 cups flour

Mix your yeast, water, sugar, and salt in a large bowl. Stir in the flour, and knead until the dough is smooth. Shape into the form of arms crossed in prayer and place it on a baking sheet.  Sprinkle the top with salt, and bake in an oven preheated to 425 degrees for 15 minutes.

If anyone knows of a recipe that does not need yeast, please please pass it on to ME!!  :)  And, of course, please share your ideas, what you do with your family, your traditions, and any special things you do to bring Lent to life for your kids.  Feel free to post links to your blogs or your website in the comment section below.  God Bless you all, have a very focused Lenten Season and a Glorious Easter!

Let me ask you. Do women have a place in the intellectual world? Is it unattractive for a woman to have opinions and to feel compelled by the Holy Spirit to do whatever she can to make the world a better place for the sake of her children? Can a woman be wildly feminine and be a bear when it comes to protecting her family? Does she have any place outside the home?

This may seem obvious to most, if not all of you, but there are some people in the fringe of society who have chosen to manipulate their religion into something grotesque. They are using their religion as a way to elevate themselves and denegrate all women. I’m floored at the lengths they will go and I’m no femininist. I truly believe if you are a mother, you have an obligation to stay home with your children, regardless of the sacrifice. I don’t want to hear all the “but what if’s”, especially the “what about single moms?” I have a friend who is a single mom to 2 kids and she stays home, works AND homeschools. Owned. “But not everyone can do that” — Why not? She sacrifices on every social level known to man to do what is right for her kids, why can’t you? What is your specific excuse?

I also believe that men are the head of the household. {gasp} That does not mean I demurely accept decisions handed down from the great Dan, rather, it means he’s responsible for a whole lot of stuff and he gets a great title that occasionally means he gets the last word on things. We are a team in this wonderful Sacrament of Marriage. We both bring a uniqueness to our family. I am nurturing, loving, caring and emotional. Dan is strong, level-headed and calm. We have a good cop/bad cop thing going. Dan goes out and reasons with the world. If that doesn’t work, I go in and holler, cry or threaten the world. And, lastly if that should fail, Dan simply beats the tarp outta the world. It works, it’s always worked. We complete each other. Dan is the first one to admit he needs me. And I need him. This is God’s plan, not some altered third world view of marriage, but a union, where two people become one for the benefit of each other and the world.

But, when it comes to our children, you better believe I am not just a pretty face in a lace dress, black flats and panty hose. Gag. Nope. I’m a mother bear, I am a carnivore in stilleto heels, a short dress and plunging neckline. Anyone who has been within earshot of me when I am upon my prey knows I AM the embodiment of Jekyll and Hyde. Is that feminine? In the eyes of God, yes. In Pope John Paul’s eyes, yes. I am a mother, I fight for the rights and well-being of my children.

I understand the man who spent his entire young life being ridiculed and picked on and made to feel nothing less than pathetic. I understand his need to exert himself and to right those wrongs. But you don’t do that from a religious pulpit. You do that in the gym – (though i’ve recently been told men don’t say gym, they say “lift weights”). You do that by learning to fight, perhaps? It is nothing less than disgraceful, and without a doubt a grave sin when a religion is distorted and scripture taken out of context, twisted and turned into a publicity stunt for someone to reinvent and raise themselves over others.

Where did this come from? Well, I was told by someone who holds himself up to be the next coming of Christ that I ought to forget about the upcoming elections and “vote for whomever Dan votes for”. That made Dan chuckle. There goes Free Will he said. I was then referenced in a blog by this same person that I was unfeminine because I am involved in political discussions, I was unfeminine because I promote and protect my religious beliefs, I was chastised and told that a woman’s place is under her husband’s foot, that her only job is in the home raising her children and serving her husband. This, shockingly, made me angry. It made me sad. It made me feel compelled to pray for him and his poor family. Dan of course loved it. He LOL and made references all night as to my place in the family. But Dan’s ideas were slightly different, it was more white T-shirt and water related.

I wonder about this man’s wife. But, she’s an adult, she made her bed. More-so I worry about his children. His sons will grow to be like their father – an egotistical man, who has found small minded minions whose only desire is to serve God to follow him in his quest for respect and validity under the guise of Catholicism. I worry for his daughters who will grow up without strength of character, without the ability to say no, without the ability to question anything. They will undoubtedly have his twisted version of religion imprinted on their brain. The devil is out there, Satan is lurking and God have mercy, for they know not what they do.

I am a wife, a mother and a crusader for a better world for my family. I believe God has imprinted my fighting spirit on my soul. Who am I to question Him? Why would I take a gift God gave me and let it wilt? I was born with a competitive nature, I was born with a quest for extremes and excitement. These are traits given to me by God. How would this man like me to channel these specific character traits? I could, perhaps enter a meatloaf competition? Is that feminine? Probably not, it’s a competition. The Garden Club could be an option, but God did not bless me with a green thumb, nor does our community have a garden club. I suppose I could get my adrenaline rush from disobeying Dan, but I’ve never been an obedient person, I’ve never allowed anyone to infringe upon my God-given right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, so that’s out as well.

This last sentence just begs the question of consequences. What, pray-tell, happens when she disobeys him? And, yes he does use this word. And, yes it does happen, because no-one is perfect … no-one. So she is a naughty wife and disobeys. Is she punished? Sent to her room? As a mom of 11 I would do whatever it took to be sent to my room, I’d be the most disobedient wife on the planet. It would be chaos. “Where’s mommy.” “She was sent to her room…again.”

As parents it is our God given responsibility to help our children find their strengths, their talents and their inner beauty. I have 6 boys, all of them are warriors. I have 5 girls, two are girly girls, competition doesn’t interest them, extreme sports, not so much. They are artistic and musically inclined. I have none of their talents. I have two girls for whom competition is their very nature. They compete in everything from who can finish school first, who gets the best grades to who is the fastest snowboarder, who can do the most tricks and who can stay on the wave the longest. The jury is out on little Elly, but if her spirit continues on the path she’s on now, we’ll have a sweet baby loving girl who fights for what she believes in. Who am I to curb her enthusiasm, to mold her into something other than that what God has plans for? We work with our children’s spirits, not against them.

Be very wary of false prophets, my friends. Glory is always given to God, not to priests, fathers or prophets. Married life is a bridge to God. As mothers we feed our children from our own bodies, they will eventually wean themselves of our milk, but we continue to feed their bodies, mind and soul. It is a huge responsibility. A parent’s love, no matter how good, is imperfect. It was never meant to take the place of God’s love. It was meant to foster a way to God’s love. It is our responsibility to remain humble and be strong, solid, if not fallible, bridges to God. “The Glory is given to God and thank God that he has given us the gifts of married life that we may have a glimpse, that we may have a way, that we may have a bridge to our Father in Heaven.” — Fr Michael Denk

Please read the below Letter From Pope John Paul II. It’s beautiful and describes eloquently and beautifully the role women play in today’s society. God made us all so very different and each of us is glorified in God’s eyes. Please, please take 5 minutes click the link and read the letter. God Bless.

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_let_29061995_women_en.html

PS-Sorry, R.A. … it’s all good.

You’ve all seen it, the tongue-in-cheek blog making its rounds on facebook about the poor overworked mom who is accosted by the elderly ladies in Target who tell her to seize the day, to cherish the moments while her children are young … because they go so fast.  Well this advice, “while all good and right”, bugs poor Glennon Melton, because seizing the day, just “doesn’t work” for her.   Glennon Melton finds parenting to be “Brutiful”, both beautiful and brutal and often writes to help her heal from her “bulimia, alcoholism, and jerkiness”.  No, I did not make this up, she wrote that tag herself — catchy, isn’t it?

Every time I’m out with my kids — this seems to happen: An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, “Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast.” Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn’t work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life – while I’m raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong.

This particular article bugged ME. Really really bugged me.   I think poor harried Glennon, needs to step back and think about what these advice givers are really saying.  Of course, it’s not fun to clean up spills one right after the other, of course we don’t enjoy the meltdowns in Target or the knocking down of mannequins at the mall.  What these seasoned moms are saying is live in the moment, be there.  Really hear your child crying and laughing. Remember the sound.  Truly study his or her face, soak in their beauty.  Hold your child, remember what she feels like.  Embrace a late dinner, allow the stares of the gapers to penetrate you, imprint the smell of your freshly bathed baby in your mind, experience the pressures, the pain, the joy, the stress, the excitement and then enjoy the solace at the end of the day as you sink into a hot bath with a book and smile as you recall the day.

I think the worst feeling in the world, worse than the tantrums, worse than a messy house or a destroyed car … I think the absolute worst feeling would be to wake up one morning to a quiet and empty house and feel like you missed it all.  The pain of that emptiness would be overbearing.  It really does go by so fast.  A few years ago, I had my first child, now today she is 18.  I take solace in the fact that I’ve never been in a rush and homeschooling has simply expanded my peace, it’s slowed down the rush of life.  I don’t look forward to the days when the kids will be off fending for themselves. So, rather than seeing your children as an interruption to your established routine, take a deep breath, relax, and just go with the flow. Because you never get these days back.  Ever.   So I do, actually, Carpe Diem as much as is humanly possible and so should you!

Along with the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker and the Amur Leopard, there’s another endangered species nearing or having reached extinction: The Tough Guy. At some point in my 30+ years, men laid down their their brawler, their chin, for Dancing With the Stars.  They are sensitive and compassionate now, instead of providers and protectors.

My opinion, we need more men with chin. Chin, in the boxing world, is a badass. Having chin means having the ability to absorb punches when you get hit with a big shot and stay standing, to remain on your feet despite seeing black flashing lights, blurred, double or triple vision and feeling a buzz that goes all the way to your toes. Some say you are either born with a good chin or not. Other say it’s a mental toughness that when your brain tells you to go down to the canvas you will yourself to stay on your feet.

I’ll say it again, the world needs men with chin.

But today, men are merely women who stand to pee.  Sorry guys, there seems to be no distinction between the sexes. Everyone has become sensitive and in touch with their feelings. Nowadays, they post facebook status’, venting.  When I was growing up they placed punches. Guys thought The Terminator was cool, they watched Die Hard and Reservoir Dogs, not the Notebook.  They didn’t drink red wine and champagne they drank Jack and Coke.  It saddens and pretty much pisses me off to watch men continue on this downward spiral toward meekness, weakness and softness. I have six sons but, more importantly, I have 5 daughters who know what a real man is because they have brothers and a badass dad.  They will never be satisfied with a male endowed, female wired husband.  So, seeing as though everyone forgot what it takes to be a tough guy, I’ve taken the liberty of putting together a list of  6 steps to help mankind regain some of that old bravado that has long been forgotten.  I urge you to read all the way through, I saved the best for last!

STEP ONE:  Bulk Up

You gotta look the part before you act the part.  Tough guys have muscles, they have muscles on their muscles.  They look like they could beat the sh*& outta anyone and they carry themselves with confidence. Muscles show you care about your appearance and you value yourself.  Most women love to feel like the guy they are with can protect them from any and all evil lurking out there.  We also dig men who look good and make us feel small. In a world where we are obsessed with our weight, there would be nothing worse, or very little worse, than being heavier than your husband.  Our self esteems are quite fragile.  So men, this may seem very superficial,  but just like you enjoy our taking special care to look good for you, women love their men to look good too.

STEP TWO: Own the Game Of Life:

Everyone gets beat down in life, it’s a fact.  As said by Rick Seaman, graduate of the Naval Academy, “Mental toughness is the ability to persevere in pursuit of a goal, no matter how long it takes or how much pain is involved. It is the willpower needed to complete the mission regardless of obstacles.”   It means no matter how relentless life is, no matter how horrid the people in your path are, you are a rock, you don’t falter, you don’t fall, you plow on through and you never ever complain … ever!    Tough guys play hurt and the pain, unbeknownst to anyone else.  They know that complaining is only for lesser people who crave attention. They know all to well that the respect that comes from enduring pain is a lot better than the sympathy you get from moaning about it.  Complaining is a sign of weakness, it shows lack of character.  Very few guys are mentally tough.  They want us all to think they are tough so they will complain, but let you know they are not complaining.  Being mentally stout enables you to break out of seemingly boring existences and into a realm unbeknownst to others.  When you’re brain is brawny you are unencumbered by obstacles that would otherwise trash your very existence.

STEP THREE:  Get some Rocky In Ya

Think Clint Eastwood — Dirty Harry, Walt Kowalski (Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino).  Regardless who Eastwood is playing, the world is well aware that character can kick some ass.  We know this by the way he acts, the way he carries himself and by the way he looks.  Clint Eastwood is the toughest of the tough guys in Hollywood.  Gun fights, bar fights, whatever the fight, he holds his own. Of course, I’m not suggesting you go out and look for a fight.  Real tough guys, real men have nothing to prove.  They know they have the cojones to do what it takes, they don’t need to constantly prove it to everyone else.  Besides , a real man can distinguish which fights are worth fighting and which ones are petty. No one respects a man who can’t brush off a slew of insults or a minor altercation and flies. Flying into rages at every whim only proves lack of control.  However, it’s equally hard to respect a man who doesn’t know when it’s time to flex. The important battles are the ones whose significance exceeds the actual confrontation. If a dude bumps into you, it’s not  worth it. But if a guy bumps into your wife, hell yeah, you better act.

STEP FOUR:  Be Crazy

Tough guys have tough hobbies.  They are not shoppers, they don’t play the piano, knit or  garden.  Tough guys live on the edge, they take chances and they don’t fear fear.  Tough guys ride motorcycles, they’re into extreme sports and they play rough. They are also warriors in everything they do.  ”A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood,” so said Gen Patton.  Tough guys don’t finish last.   They bring a game face to every meet up.  Fear is a daily occurence  in their lives, but they don’t wear it on their sleeve, they crave it like raw meat and the amount of sheer fear in their day is the ruler on which they measure the success of the past 24 hours.   Tough guys dabble in the crazy, always pushing the limits. They are visibly unfazed when the sh*@ hits the fan.  Due to their crazy nature, everyday life doesn’t scare them.  Which leads me to Step 5.

STEP FIVE: Take Care of Your Own

Due to the “Obama economy” Dan’s boss was forced to cut employee salaries and when Dan was called in to his boss’ office in October He wasn’t shaking, he wasn’t nervous.  His pay was cut … by 20%.   A lesser man would have quit.  I would have quit.  Today most “men” would be on the phone with their psychiatrists, bawling about being emasculated, their feelings of inadequacy and how scary a time this was for them.  Dan’s thoughts were in a different direction, he has resolve, he has determination.  He threw himself into a start-up business, SubSavvy.  After months and months of 20/hr days, working 2 ful-time jobs and a 3rd, working part-time as a web developer, he’s ready to launch the first version.  Tough guys don’t  take a beating from anyone, not even plummeting economic forces.  Tough guys use a tough situation to make things better.  Tough guys are badass dads and role models for their kids.  Tough guys are badass husbands who support their wives financially and emotionally so she can stay at home and raise their children.  Tough guys teach their sons how to be tough guys and teach their daughter’s about what a real man is.

STEP SIX: Get a Grip

Tough guys live by a set of values and core beliefs.  Tough guys know, love and serve God.  They aren’t ashamed of this, they holler it from the rooftops, they preach it and they live it.  They are tough enough to know that they aren’t tough without Him.   The tough guys value honesty and integrity and they garner respect from holding these truths.  Tough guys aren’t out there fighting the good fight for themselves, and he’ll defend his beliefs to the death.   There are four types of people in the world.  The first type, typically your family, will like you no matter what you do.  The second will like you, but can be persuaded to dislike you.  The third, will despise you from the get-go.  And the fourth will despise you, but can be persuaded to like you.  Tough guys like themselves, they sweat confidence, they sweat self-assuredness and while they may not be liked, they are 100% respected.

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So we are a very musically inclined family. Most of us simply love to listen to it for all it’s benefits, but a few of us partake in actual music making. In fact, our oldest daughter, Kerry, is the lead singer and lead guitarist in the band, Wake.

I won’t use this space to tout the plethora of benefits derived from, and attributed to, music because you can easily Google and read about them from “the experts”.  I simply wanted to link to some of our favorite CD’s that really seem to illicit physically and mental reactions from our kids, regardless of age.  These selections are loved by Elly who is 1 and by our older kids … they actually sing out loud to them.  *Warning:  The songs are very catchy and you will find them stuck in your head as you repeat them over and over throughout the day.

Raffi,  Raffi singable songs collection is chock full of fun and lively children’s tunes that get them up and dancing and singing.  He’s funny and entertaining, mixing crazy lyrics about sharing peanut butter  sandwiches with classics such as Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot.  The very idea behind Raffi’s music:  Children deserve good music as much as the adults in their lives.  He is the ever fervent child advocate:  ”We find these joys to be self-evident: That all children are created whole, endowed with innate intelligence, with dignity and wonder, worthy of respect.  He’s impossible not to love and GUARANTEED your kids will love his music!!!

Hailing from my own childhood is Ella Jenkins’ You’ll Sing a Song and I’ll Sing a Song.   From her Artist Profile on Amazon:  ”"You’ll sing a song and I’ll sing a song, and we’ll sing a song together.” That is what Ella Jenkins has done for more than 50 years in preschools, festivals, auditoriums, early childhood conferences, and concerts around the world. Ella was the first “folk” performer to teach fun, interactive music in schools and preschools, incorporating world cultures, the joy of music, and the basic skills every child needs. Literally thousands of musicians who now perform for children are indebted to Ella Jenkins for laying that groundwork. She has reached even more families through television appearances on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, Sesame Street, and Barney.”   My kids LOVE her!!  x0x0

Finally I can’t say enough great things about Here Come the 123s.  From Amazon (again): “Here the Johns–Linnell and Flansburgh–are up to their usual smart shenanigans: In “Seven,” a bunch of skinny numerals crash a stranger’s living room before settling in for some cake, and in “Nine Bowls of Soup” an ichthyosaur is so enamored of soup he works out a way to balance a multitude of bowls on his scaly body. The brilliance isn’t limited to the lyrics. The Johns know a thing or 1-2-3 about crafting seriously jammable music. Highights include “High Five,” a flippy, freewheeling dab of disco, and “One Everything,” a juiced-up, jangly rocker with a message for listeners ages 3 to 93: an untidy room actually is an insult to the omniverse.” –Tammy La Gorce  Looooveeee it!!!

Please feel free, if you have more awesome music to add to this less than exhaustive list, we’re always always looking to add to our music library … it’s nice to have a variety!!!

I’m a horrible housewife. I don’t know about any of you, but if I miss 1 day, shoot I’ll just be real honest here, If I’m not cleaning 24/hrs day, my home becomes a wasteland of socks, toys, crayons, paper, books, nerf bullets, and so on and so forth. Piles build up out of nowhere. Bathrooms look and smell like latrines. Sheets walk off beds and drape themselves over chairs and desks. Gloves, boots, hats, are all over and when we need something we can never find it. I simply cannot keep up.

Winter is the worst. There is so much extra gear and times that by 13 I’m beginning to think I need a personal assistant just to help keep it all organized. One thing is blatantly obvious, we are very, oh so very, bad at picking up after ourselves. I have friends that remind their children once to pick up their belongings or they are gone, as in thrown out or given away. I have tried “threatening” this, but you’d have to be exceptionally dumb to think I would throw out or give away something we still use and need, like shoes. We paid for those shoes. I’ve tried taking them and hiding them, but soon I needed a second home to house all the contraband that I was storing.

The other blatantly obvious reason I’m beyond overwhelmed is that there are far better things to be doing than cleaning. I’d much prefer to be snowboarding or sledding or building snowmen (of course you need snow for all these activities and there is NO SNOW), but you get my drift. I’m a subscriber to the philosophy that my kids won’t remember how nice our furniture was or how clean our house was … they will remember mommy and daddy playing with them, boarding with them, kayaking with them and just plain old being there with them. But this leads to me having panic attacks each time I walk in a boys room or the laundry room or open a closet or Heaven forbid, walk in the boys bathroom.

There are rooms in our house that I religiously keep clean, of course or I’d be certifiably crazy. Our kitchen, our great room, our TV room and our basement. There are rooms I try desperately to keep clean, but it lasts all of maybe 1 hour, like the boys bathroom. I won’t go into detail, but suffice it to say I’ve found toothpaste on the ceiling and toothpaste on the shower curtain!! I could literally make a 40+ hour/week career out of standing guard at the bathroom door and cleaning it each time one the boys came out.

Speaking of careers, you know there are people who will do this for you? Clean your house, that is. There are people for whom this line of work provides food for their children. Who am I to covet Dan’s money and not spread the wealth as they say? (ha ha) I think that mental health practitioners ought to forget the mind altering drugs they prescribe and instead prescribe housekeepers. I can’t tell you what having a housekeeper used to do for my frame of mind. I was, well, functioning. It was cool.

What I need to do is figure out which of my children have skills/talents in housecleaning and begin to help hone those skills. In the meantime, I just want to throw out there that we are not to proud for charity. You can come clean my house anyday!! When you arrive, you can find me by the low moaning sound … I’m the one curled into a fetal position under the Christmas tree that will most likely be up until mid-July.

I recently saw a fb post written by a wonderful, loving, beautiful mom bemoaning her work situation.  She was having an awful morning, she was overworked, underpaid and was simply venting on fb to make herself feel better, she wasn’t necessarily looking for suggestions, just good old fashioned venting.  However, in the post she innocently (perhaps innocently) said, “if you are lucky enough to be a SAHM, can you just take a moment to appreciate the HELL out of it”  Ooooh, she said “lucky”.  Those are fighting words for Stay-At-Home moms like me for whom luck plays no part!  The only reason we can crunch the numbers and come out even or slightly ahead is because we MAKE it that way.

Neither Dan nor I was born with a silver spoon.   We have had absolutely zero financial, emotional and/or physical assistance.  Yet,  we made the decision to commit to our children and sacrifice BIG time to have me stay home and raise our own children.  This was the easiest decision in my adult life, despite the huge huge sacrifices we have had to make along the way.  Without a doubt, I would never change a thing, not one blessed thing.  And somehow along the way we took this one step further and last year began our homeschool journey!

Now, I won’t lie and say I don’t want all the things, that I don’t want the material possessions 95% of my friends have because even today, 18 years into my parenting journey, I find it a big pill to swallow when I have to forgo even minor luxuries.  It’s certainly hard when you live near Aspen – the hub of the rich and famous – where the excess and the blatantly wealthy dangle in front of my eyes on a daily basis!!

As much as it sucks to not have many luxuries, like a new car and tropical vacations, there is a romanticism about it.  God could have sent his only begotten Son adorned with jewels and with an entourage fit for a … well, a king.  But He chose that Jesus be born without anything.  Jesus was very poor and yet He is the Son of God.  Jesus was born in a stable, no comfortable bed, no decent home, none of the typical riches associated with royalty. He became a refugee as a baby because Herod wanted to kill Him. Joseph and Mary fled to Egypt, where they didn’t know the language but Joseph had to find work.  When compared to Jesus’ beginning, we are wealthy beyond words.  Sure it’s tough to make sacrifices, but we’re in good company.

There is so much beauty in sacrifice. It’s beautiful that I’m there to wipe all of my children’s tears, to revel in all of their happiness.  It’s beautiful that I’m their everything, that I can calm them and excite them and teach them and love them.  It’s beautiful that we can make cookies and puppets and play tag and read books. It’s beautiful that despite the things we don’t have, we don’t even notice we are without.  For the most part, we only notice what we do have and what we do have far outweighs anything man-made.   It’s amazingly beautiful that we have all day everyday together, so there is no rush … we have a lifetime.  I have the time to instill and reinforce values and morals.    My children have their mom and I have my children.  All day, everyday, the way it was meant to be.  We are learning together, growing together and enjoying life together.

The majority of SAHM’s will tell you it’s hard work, sure they love it, but it’s tough, thankless, sometimes mundane work.  I can’t relate to this.  Our days start with school, we race through it and then we are off.  We are at the park, the pool, on the river, on the mountain, hiking, biking, snowboarding, rafting, kayaking … there is no mundane in our life.

Thankless?  Perhaps the words, “Thank you mommy for not working” have never be mouthed, but thankless is NOT what my experience is.  I get all the thanks I need when I nurse Elly, or make lunch or help with a tricky school problem.  Thankless?  Not by a longshot.   My baby gets to sleep in her own bed and be rocked to sleep by her own mommy.  My children get to spend all day reading, playing, plotting with their siblings.  My oldest and my youngest connect daily – there is no generation gap.  Thankless?  Perhaps if I were blind.

Hard?  Life is hard, being a mommy, a good one, is hard, but being a SAHM is simply being a good mommy.  There is nothing more valuable, nothing more earth changing, nothing more life altering than being a SAHM.  Period.

The toughest part of my day will no doubtedly be juggling 1st grade, 2nd grade and my little Elly, who happens to be one of our few clingy babies. The toughest part of Dan’s day will no doubtedly be much much worse.  I’ll certainly be drop dead exhausted by noon, starving, holding a crying baby, teaching phonics rules and ordinal numbers.  Sweat will be beading on my forehead, but lunch, nap and then fun is what the remainder of my day entails.  Dan … he will be tired and he will be stressed and he will probably be going on hour number 35 without sleep.  Juggling responsibilities at his first job, launching his own business and juggling the side jobs he picked up when he was hit with a 20% paycut.  Yep, much much worse.  But at the end of the day, when the kids are snuggled into their beds and Dan and I are winding down our days, there is no talk of regrets, no talk of “someday”, nothing but peace in the fact that we made the right decision out of pure unadulterated love.

Sure, we don’t have many luxuries and today we struggle financially, but we are in good company.  The grass is always greener (metaphorically speaking, of course) on our side of the fence.