This is something the 99% will tell you isn’t possible, it’s not feasible.  If you try to tell them otherwise, they’ll shake their heads exasperatingly.

“When you live in the real world, you’ll understand,” they insist.

“When are you and Dan going to grow up?” they ask.

“When is all this going to end?” parental units inquire

“What about socialization?” the unenlightened will prod.

“Are you done having kids?” family seeths.

Our response is and always has been the same.  We enthusiastically explain that happiness is not our goal, it is our way of life.  We flat out deny the “real world” from ever infiltrating our lives.  People have thought we were crazy from the get-go.  Dan and I were married uber young, Kerry was born when I was 20 and we were well below the poverty level, believe me — Dan was barely making a double digit salary and I was a stay-at-home mom.  Most people we knew, if not all, were certain we’d never see our first anniversary.  We gave people a lot of reasons to gossip, that’s for sure.  We kept having babies, we took giant leaps of faith without really thinking, Dan quit his stable job and started a consulting business, we up and moved across the country in a 30 day span, we bought a house we really couldn’t afford, we were living a dream life and to our family and friends, we were crazy immature!  And when we finally made that proverbial leap and decided to homeschool, in most people’s minds, we lost the last bit of what kept us semi-normal.  We were lost, no way to get into our kids heads, our heads, we were gone!

What has always puzzled me about the way the 99% live is that they are content to be unhappy, at least that’s the impression when you read people’s facebook pages!  But that’s the “real world” guys.  That’s following the road fully travelled, the road everyone ventures down, it’s tried and true.  You know where it leads and what you’re getting.

The real world consists of 40/hr work weeks, day care, educational systems, political bureacracy, peer pressure, shuffling the kids in all different directions, stress, anxiety — in a phrase — the ultimate breakdown of the family.  As young kids we are told our path. Go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have a child or two, work some more, take a vacation once per year, retire and maybe, if you’re lucky, you might have a few free years to enjoy your life.  No wonder they are miserable!

Our society has somehow bought into the idea that every person must go to college if they are to be successful. At Freshman orientation students are told, college graduates, on average, make 1 million dollars more than those who don’t.  What they fail to tell you is those kids would probably make 1 million more anyway.  They are the hard workers, the good students, the driven kids with goals and ambitions.  What they also fail to tell you is that life isn’t about how much money you make, or about how big your house is, or how nice your car is, or how many Easter Dresses your daughter had, or how many cloth diapers you can buy, or dressing “to the nines” or any of the other myriad of lies we are fed. Life is about love and family and relationships and personal growth and God!

We’ve always told our kids, when the subject arises, that we think college is a waste of time and money.  I’m a college graduate, the proud owner of an English and Poli Sci Major.  I wasted $40,000 of my own money that could have been used to start my own business or travel or something other than earn two completely worthless degrees.    Dan’s a self made man.  He learned everything he knows himself.  Spent money on books, not on college.  Unless you are going to be a doctor or a lawyer or something like that, a professional, you don’t need to spend what now equates to $100,000 on an education that will nine times out of ten lead to more education and more education.  Life is the best education, living outside the box is THE BEST education you can ever give yourself.

We’ve done pretty well for ourselves, really, when you look at our life as an entire story.  Together, we’re raising 11 of the most diverse, amazing, talented, kind, smart, generous, loving, children ever.  They understand the meaning of life, their goals don’t consist of all things monetary.  Their goals are more simple.  They actually enjoy and want to spend time with their siblings and their parents and they want to kayak … every day.  In fact, we spend every waking breathing minute together.  We are each others best friends, confidants, teachers, and cheerleaders.   We are fully dependent on each other for everything, we answer to no-one but each other.  Our youngest kids will never spend one minute in a formal classroom … the world is their classroom!   Our kids have discovered the art of making videos and they rock at it.  Grady has 1 video with 2 MILLION views, many in the hundreds of thousands.  They are really really good at this.  Grady has an eye for directing, Kerry’s an amazing actress, Brody is funny and loveable … they are discovering their talents long before any of their peers.

Our days are spent looking for the next adrenaline rush and typically it’s found in the river, in a kayak, on a wave.  We aren’t spectators in our children’s lives, we are participants.  We experience the same challenges, the same fears, the same emotions, the same exhilaration and we experience it together.  We push each other and challenge each other in everyday life to be better people, stronger people.   We rely on each other in the water as on land.  I’ve been rescued a number of times by Dan, Grady and Brody.  I can’t wait for the day when Kady, Kenny & Dally and the rest of the gang rescue me too!!  In the water the dynamics are different.  I’m the liability!   On land I’m competant, but in the water, I rely on my kids — it’s bizarre and amazing!   I couldn’t ask for a better life, better husband, better kids!

And now, God has blessed us with the realization of a dream!  In the last few days we finalized the last piece of the puzzle in our quest to become nomads, travelling gypsies.  We purchased an RV!  It’s our first big purchase since buying our house in 2001.   It’s something we’ve been dreaming about for years and finally all the stars aligned and made it possible.  It’s huge, a 36′ Georgie Boy, Diesel Pusher and big enough to cart our rather large family from one river to another.  We’ll be nomads this summer, just travelling from one kayaking spot to the next.  It will be an unbelievable summer filled with family bonding, and extreme fun!  Who knows, maybe it’s the beginning of something life altering?  The thing about the road untravelled is that you don’t know where it’s going to take you, it’s exciting and new every single day.  Sure, there are lots of bumps along the way, probably, possibly bigger bumps than those encountered by the droves of people on the other paths, but those bumps define you, they make you who you are.  Personally, I don’t want the cake if I can’t eat it, and you shouldn’t settle for any less either!

“Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible.”  ~St. Augustine

When the last of the prom bound kids pulled out of the driveway I turned and looked at Grady towering over me at 6’1″ and 160+ lbs.  Not too long ago he was just a little boy with blond hair and the cutest baby face you’ve ever seen.  His entire purpose in life was to test me, day in and day out, how far could he go, what was my breaking point?  And now today, at 16  he’s literally a man.  Kind, strong, confident, like his dad.  I could go on, but the rest of the kids are midgets and nowhere near any endings or new beginnings, maturity wise or life wise.  Grady will be a Junior next year and that’s when time picks up and literally spirals out of control, before we know it, he’ll be graduating H.S. and beginning his adult life.  sob, sob.

I’m so thankful to God for my personality, really and truly. My mom hated that my goal in life was simply to have fun, she tried everything to make me change.  I’m thankful I never did because this is what made me the mom I am.   I’m thankful that God gave me a playful spirit, a spirit that didn’t value much in the world outside of having fun with my family.  I’m grateful beyond words that I didn’t waste these years away working, I have no lost time to mourn. I’m grateful I haven’t spent the last 18 years pining for a different life.  I love my life.  I was there for every new tooth, every cry, every tantrum, every hug, every milestone, every feeding … I haven’t missed a thing with any of my 11 kids.  Nothing.  And, as we get older, not that we’re old, mind you, but as we get older we understand even more fully how important time is.  To truly live in the moment and to not simply exist is monumentally glorious.   “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”  Oscar Wilde

How profound is that?  How many of you wake up at the same time every morning, go through the same exact routine, day in and day out?  How many of you live for Friday afternoon when the weekend officially starts and you can relax and live a little?  Break free of the chains that bind you, do it now.  Start to live, to breathe, to enjoy.  I truly believe the greatest gift we’ve given our children is our time and I’m confident the greatest gift we’ve given ourselves is time with our kids.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been sacrifices along the way, struggles for sure, but when I look back at all of that, I don’t clearly recall.  What I do remember is the moments with the kids on the river, on the mountain, camping, hiking, biking, climbing.  We don’t need vacations, we have chosen to live a vacation.  Even on the days when we are doing nothing, we are doing it together. Coloring, reading, writing stories, wrestling, tickling, eating … it’s always together.

Even playing we do together.  While we have always been an outdoors family, kayaking has been a life changing sport for us.  We were never in the stands type parents, we were always coaching whatever sport our kids were involved in, but now with kayaking (and snowboarding) we are actually in it with them.  We are in the water, tackling the same fears, the same challenges, feeling the same excitement.  It is nothing short of awesome when there are 8 of us paddling down the river.  We always are asked if we are a school, to which we laugh and say, “nope these are all our kids.”  That usually is a shocker and we get the opportunity to talk about the boats, the kids, the sport and more likely than not, we meet new friends, new paddling partners!

Once you are in a kayak you never get out, it’s a passion filled sport complete with mental challenges, physical challenges and so much more.  Our kids learned more about themselves in one kayaking season than in any other activity they’ve ever been involved in.  You learn what you are made of, you learn what it takes to conquer real fear.  Kayaking is a real mind game and it’s making men out of our boys and women out of our girls.  And Dan and I are there to mentor them every step of the way.  This has increased the living quotient of our lives tenfold.

So as Kerry’s high school career winds down, I’m sad to see the end of an era,  but I’m equally excited for her, she has her entire life ahead of her and she’s just thrilled to get it started.  She’s not entirely sure of her next steps, but she’s young, she’s vibrant, and she doesn’t have to do anything, the world is her playground, she can choose any path and I’m sure it will be a great path.  She has so much ahead of her, even she doesn’t know the true joys that lie ahead.  I’m so very blessed to look back and know that I am and always have been the mom I wanted to be.   God Bless you all, have a happy Sunday!

I’m fervently waving goodbye to the first trimester!!  Can you believe it?  I literally awoke on Wednesday (the day I turned 13 weeks) expecting a magic switch to have jolted me into the sex crazed, energy laden, second tri chick I adore.  Here it is Friday, Friday people, and still nothing!  I’m tired, in a “I really can’t drag myself off the couch” tired kinda way.  I’m still stuck eating disgusting food, and drinking Ginger Ale by the case load.  Around week 7 I started to get exceptionally nauseous, literally almost throwing up a few times.  I couldn’t stomach RAW foods any longer, the thought of fresh Graperfruit Juice turned my stomach, fresh veggies, forget about it.  I was craving meat smothered in cheese.  Normally, I hate meat, mind you.  I’m a RAW foodie, I love juicing and dehydrating and Smoothies.  Fast forward to today and, sadly I’m not as nauseous as the excessive nausea was due to a twin, that didn’t grow or thrive or ??  Truth be told, I’m struggling with this.  I’m not sure how to feel.  I felt at once grief and relief at the fact that I did had a baby who was living and thriving within my womb.  Who am I to look God’s gracious gift and ask for more?  But at the same time, there was another baby who by 9 weeks was being expelled from my body.  What does that mean?  How should one feel?  But recently the nausea has subsided, however, not the utter distaste for all that is healthy.

These days, all I want to eat  is Pepperoni Pizza, ooey gooey pepperoni pizza!  Mmmm.  The cheese must be hot and melted and the Pepperoni must be crisp on the sides.  No-other meat, veggie, fruit, nothing is permitted to reside on my piece of pizza.  I eat pizza everyday, drink ginger ale and down my Pre-Natal Vitamins, which I loved during Lent because they are gummy vits covered in sugar, but now they are repulsive.  The end result of this diet is that the scale and I are not on speaking terms, in fact I may have broken it when I threw it at the ground.  This could get ugly if I don’t get my mojo back, get into the river, get moving in my running shoes and start eating some healthy foods.  However,one of the wonderful things about being pregnant is it’s truly the new black.  The bigger your stomach gets, the smaller the rest of you seems.  Golden!

I’ve also begun the obsession of seeking a dr who will do a vbac after 2 C-sections!  Exciting.  My previous dr told me I’d never find anyone in the entire US who would do this, but I have an appt May 11 with a dr a mere 1.5 hours away who makes the decision on a case by case basis!   Those of you who followed us back in 2010 when I was pregnant with Elly will know the agony, not an overly dramatic word in this case, I put myself through regarding VBAC.  I had a dr who seemed somewhat ok with the idea.  However, the hospital had a 100% zero tolerance policy for vbac’s.  So, the scenario I was looking at was that I could not arrive at the hospital before I was actively in the final stages of labor and I had to demand my dr perform a vbac.  She said I’d have to sign my life (and that of my baby’s) away with a gazillion forms and she wouldn’t be able to really stand up for me except to say, I must do what my patient wants me to do.  This sounded fine at 6 months, but at 8.5 months, I was freaked, especially when she told me that if a problem did arise there was a 99% chance the hospital would not be able to save the baby.  They simply were not equipped.  I threw in the towel and had a repeat C, and it was just as glorious and amazing as any other birth I’ve experienced.  Nothing can sour the beauty of a new life, of seeing your new baby for the first time.  Birth alters the world, it makes everything perfect.  This is the feeling I’m addicted to.

As I hinted at,  C-section’s are not the end of the world, people.  They aren’t terribly painful, you can get up within the first 5-6 hours and walk around and you can see your baby immediately after.  They are quick, almost instant gratification and no pain/pushing during labor.  My only reason for craving a vbac is the excitement, the unknowing of when your baby will be born.  With a C-section, the due date is planned, and I’m not a planner, planning goes against my grain!  Hence, I enjoy the chaos of the inevitable, is this labor?  Is THIS labor and I’m truly one of those freaks that loves being in labor, the anticipation is out of this world!

And talking about obsession, I’m obsessed with baby names.  This is a fun obsession, for me!  For friends and family, sorry if I speak of nothing other than baby girl names.   We have a boys name should we be blessed with a boy, the middle name is up in the air, but we do have the First Name, and no, I’m not telling you!  The girls name is quite a different story.  We are in trouble should God choose to bless us with a baby girl, primarily because we have perameters.  The name must be 3-syllables and end in “n”.   I love the name Gianna (St. Gianna Beretta the Patron Saint of Life and the St I prayed fervently to when I thought I was miscarrying), and this will be our baby’s middle name should we have a girl.  But that’s where it ends.  I’ll give you an idea of how desperate I feel, here’s a list of names that struck me as possibilities when I first heard them:  Maelen, Adelyn, Gabriellen, Hadrien, Evangeline, Briallen (I still like this one), Camelyn, Rhiannon, Belen, Arielyn (pretty still), Cymbelin, Magdalen, Gwendolyn, Eadlen.  Pretty stinking desperate!  We will definitely take suggestions, but it’s gotta sound good with Gianna.

So that’s where we are (I am).   I don’t rush pregnancy, I absolutely love being pregnant as I would expect one would have to in order to be pregnant for the 12th time!  That blows my mind.  I am going to have 1 dozen children.  18 years ago, who would have ever thought?  Who would have thought that the  college drop-out and his stay-at-home wife could make a go at a life and make it such a fantastic, amazing,  joyous, adventurous and  blessed life at that?  God Bless, have a wonderful fun-filled weekend!!

For us, it wasn’t an all-at-once realization, it came in waves and with each decision came a welcome easing of our lifestyle and each time we shed a modicum of normalcy, it made it that much easier to do the same with the next opportunity. By far, the hardest and the one decision holding us back from ultimate freedom was the decision to homeschool. Dan knew and had basically made the decision that we were going to embark on this whole new lifestyle that would bring us closer than ever before; however, I was still holding onto a few ideologies that were holding me back. What about socialization? What about friends? School sports? Surprisingly, I wasn’t worried about my ability to teach my kids, I’m their mom, it’s what mom’s do 24/7. Surprisingly, I wasn’t worried about curriculum and scheduling and all that real life stuff. Thankfully, the things I was worried about were complete non-issues, that I realized as such on the 2nd or 3rd day. After making the decision and committing to it for the long haul, regardless of how hard it was on any given day; after making this commitment everything fell into place. We were free. For us, homeschooling is a multi-faceted blessing. Yes, we do it to stay close and connected. Yes, we do it to teach our Faith. Yes, we do it because we can teach them and they can learn more, better, and faster at home than at any private or public school. And, we do it because it offers us a lifestyle so drastically different than the one 99%  of the population subscribes to.

Surprisingly, many large families share many of our values. I wonder if somehow it’s not the lifestyle persay, but more a calling, a conviction to follow Christ. As Catholics, we are called to educate our children. “Parents are the first and the most important educators of their own children, and they also possess a fundamental competence in this area; they are educators because they are parents.” Pope John Paul II. It took us awhile to fully undertake all the educating, but better late than never (one of my favorite sayings, btw). Life is difficult, even for, or maybe especially for, non-conformists like us. Oftentimes, life gets in the way of living, however, it is my goal everyday to remember that Christ doesn’t simply understand our pain and suffering — he lived it. As we enter this Easter season — a celebration of the promise and hope of resurrection for all of us – I am particularly mindful of the suffering and sacrifice that led the way to the resurrection. If we, as Christians, can understand the meaning and purpose of His Passion, we might better be able to live despite our own struggles. I can’t say I’m always able to stop myself in the middle of a particularly large pity party and say, “Hey, Susie, get a grip. Jesus suffered 1,000 times worse and never once took pity on Himself.” Though I can say, when I do, the suffering usually ends rapidly. It’s the times when I allow myself to go down a dark road that somehow I find myself in dire straights and I’m praying simply to get to where I started. It’s funny how thankful you are for the little things you were only hours ago disregarding, when you are fearful you may lose them! The knowledge that it can (and very likely will) get worse unless I buck up is very motivating!!

I can tell you, I’m incredibly thankful for the husband who is my light, my soul mate, my provider and my protector, the children who have made my life have unequivicoble value, the lifestyle we are so blessed to live, our home, our beautiful mountains and rivers, our quest for never-ending adrenaline rushes and for the undying flame inside every one of us to live a life completely and thoroughly devoted to God. I’m thankful we don’t have to keep up with the Jones’ because we are Kellogg’s. That crazy, adranaline charged, never content with the status-quo family that goes with the flow, tries to duck the punches and live life to the fullest. Life is not easy when you take a different road than most, but it sure is a lot more exciting!!

God Bless All of You this Easter Season, May the Grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you always.  xoxoxoxo

One baby?  One baby?  You cry, in the wake of all that Planned Parenthood does, you hope for the safekeeping of one baby?  Let me refer you to a letter that was in our local paper (i’ll post the link later in the blog) written by a PP fan, Becky Penn.  She scoffed at our Community Activist, the female, conservative counterpart to President Obama, she scoffed at Betty because she had a sign that read “65 Babies Saved in 7 Days”.  Becky Penn laughed and proudly announced all the good that Planned Parenthood does in each locality – she said it far outweighs the pathetic 65 babies saved.  I was horrified, yes, horrified, when I read her letter.  What an ugly human being to have written such a disgusting letter.  I don’t care how pro-choice you are, you ought not be rejoicing over abortion.  You ought not be thinking, that’s 65 babies we could’ve killed.

Another letter appeared in the paper by a Ryan Bosco, to this one I sent a response. He doesn’t approve of my choice of locality, he doesn’t approve of my decision to bring my children, yet he proudly announced his support for liberty and independence of everyone, even pregnant women who want to kill their babies, yet Dan & I are not deserving of this same liberty and independence to choose to teach our children our faith by doing instead of preaching? REally? What is is with you liberals? You tout tolerance and exceptance as long as it’s in line with what you believe, but the tolerance and acceptance ends at the foot of faith.

6 very large “women” and I do use that term sparingly, showed up with signs last Friday, unfortunately we missed them, because the stories and photos I’ve heard and seen are very interesting, to say the least. Their signs read, “Get Your Bible Outta My Vagina” — to which the obvious response is, “As soon as you remove my wallet.” “Ovaries Open for Business” … gross! They munched on “Vagina Cookies”, smoked their cigarettes, and carried on like floosies, cropping their already short mini-skirts to cars passing by, etc. You PP supporters can have this group of hookers, they can join Sandra Fluke as your woman of the year…

What is it about PP that has these women gushing? That draws support from all walks of life?Planned Parenthood has a history of distorting the truth.  First they claim to be the unyielding force for choice, yet they tirelessly fight against informed consent laws, they don’t want women to see what they are discarding, because if they did, it would be an entirely different ballgame.  Planned Parenthood isn’t about choice, Planned Parenthood is about the bottom line and abortion is where they make their millions.  Planned Parenthood applauded President Obama’s HHS Mandate, thereby taking away the Catholic’s Church’s ability to choose it’s own HealthCare policies.  Planned Parenthood stands strong against Parental Consent — again taking away the parents’ authoritative rights over minor children.  Their Choice moniker is hypocrisy at it’s most blatant … choice comes when it suits them and what suits Planned Parenthood is money lining their pockets.

I would find it laughable were it not such a grievous horror that corporations are reviled in this country, yet American taxpayers support this corporation, Planned Parenthood, to the tune of more than $400 million annually!  Can you imagine taxpayers contributing that much cash to Shell or to Microsoft?  There would be an outcry of mass proportions, yet we sit idly by while our hard-earned money is given to an abortion mill.  When the hell did healthcare become welfare? When did viagra and contraception and botox and abortions become part and parcel of the package? Insurance is specifically for unexpected catastrophes…

My question for you parents is what in the world are you raising that it’s ok for college students to stand up at a Mitt Romney rally and say “You know what would make me happy? Free contraception.” UGH! The horror of having any of my children be this girl is unimagineable. To have one of my children grow up expecting you and your neighbors to foot the bill for anything they want is beyond my comprehension. But that’s exactly what these parents are doing, creating bottom feeders. You are supposed to raise adults who will go out into the world and make a difference, not become part of the problem. They are supposed to be able to pull themselves up and be productive. Instead we have lazy parents raising even lazier kids. So lazy that our President’s wife felt the need to start Play 60 … ya’ll can’t even get your kids out playing. Disgraceful!

The first was in Oct 2004, we were preparing for a camping trip in TX. We were going to meet up with my biological sister and her husband & kids. In our infinite wisdom we decided to leave in the middle of the night. At about midnight we were gathering the kids from their slumber and placing them in our truck. Dan had retrieved Kenny and placed him, sleepily on the seat and was fiddling with the DVD players we had just installed. Next thing he knew he heard a loud crash and Kenny was moaning … it’s a sound that still makes Dan shudder and cringe. To make a long story short, Kenny was diagnosed with a brain bleed and we were ambulanced down to a hospital that had a pediatric neurosurgeon on staff. He wasn’t unconscious but deeply asleep, he had vomited a few times and I was terrified, my sweet happy, otherwise perfectly happy 4 year old had a brain bleed that might require surgery. The guilt, the agony, the fear, it was so overwhelming. All I could do was pray unceasing and unyielding. I invoked every Saint, our Blessed Mother, the Holy Spirit, and had every single person we knew was praying. He was placed in ICU. We were asked if we’d like a pastor to come pray over him. Without hesitation, I said yes. A kind middle aged man came in, introduced himself and placed his hands on Kenny and encouraged me to do the same. He prayed over Kenny and at the end he said, “And when he is healed, his parents will go forth and tell their story of your mercy and miracles.” I felt God at the moment. Kenny was wheeled down to get another CT Scan and on our way, the nurse said to me, “Don’t pray that it’s gotten better, these things don’t heal that quickly, pray it hasn’t gotten worse.” Anyone who knows me knows I pray BIG and this was no exception. The CT Scan showed no brain bleed. None. The perplexed and clearly shocked doctors reviewing his scan called our hospital and requested they resend KENNY’s scan. LOL, it was a great moment. Upon returning back to Kenny’s room I saw a picture of an Iris with the name KENNY below it. I was shocked, pointed it out to the nurse who said he’d never seen it!! God brought me to the edge of the cliffs, but through prayer, faith and hope, brought me back again.

The next time I encountered unwavering horror was in 2007. The rivers were raging from the spring runoff and we were pushing the limits in our raft. When we left the house, Kenny and Dally were thoroughly disappointed because we decided, at the last minute, that we wanted to see how the river looked prior to taking them out that day. We promised we’d come back and get them and they could go on the 2nd run of the day. It was just me, Dan, Grady and Brody (11, 10). Long story short, again, we hit a 14 foot wave and the boat flipped. The water was freezing cold,literally 43 degrees, and only Brody had on a wetsuit. When we hit the water, we couldn’t breathe, I thought I’d taken in water, but in reality it was the sheer temperature that made communication impossible. Prior to any raft trip we run through safety. What do you do if you fall int? What do you do if the raft flips, etc. This day was no different. In theory we all knew what to do, the real test is when it happens. Brody did exactly what we told him to do, which was get the hell out of the water, ASAP. Only, we didn’t see him get out because he was faster than any of us could have imagined! Dan and Grady tried like hell to get the raft to the side, but with the river as high as it was, eddy’s were few and far between. I searched for Brody, running downstream, literally looking for a body. 20 minutes past, I finally caught up with Dan he didn’t have Brody. I threw up right then and there. But within 2 minutes 2 kayakers appeared and they said that Brody had caught a ride with their raft. I was hyperventilating, horrified, sick to my stomach, bawling my eyes out scared. In my panic, I didn’t stop to think Brody had gotten out like he was supposed to, I only thought there was no way he could have gotten out, the water was running fast and it was near impossible to climb out. But he did it. He was the level headed one in this scenario. I was beaming with pride, relief, thankfulness, but the relief was flooding out of me so hard and fast that I dropped to my knees and cried and cried.

Now today was the third most terrifying day of my life. I awoke last night from a dream in which my hands were covered in blood and in my newfound wakefulness I immediately knew I was bleeding and rushed to the bathroom, fearful for my unborn child. I was bleeding, bright red, I googled miscarriage and intermittently prayed for the next 2.5 hours before I finally fell asleep in front of my computer. Emmy had been sick the night before and I was awoken by her tiny little voice asking for water. We snuggled in on the couch in my bedroom and I tried to engage in some contemplative prayer, but instead dozed. In the am I called everyone in and we started the rosary, I couldn’t help it I was crying, I couldn’t maintain. Kady, my sweet, darling, caring Kady was so concerned, she was holding me and hugging me and asking what was so wrong. I stupidly, irresponsibly, childishly, pathetically said I thought our baby was “going to heaven.” Those are the type of words when spoken you immediately want to take back. In my unconscious, yet selfish desire to relieve myself of some of this tremendous grief I place it square on the shoulders of my beloved children. The tears, the fear, the sadness, the grief, oh what I would do to take it all back and not have them suffer. (And some want to tell me a 9 week old “fetus” is not a baby, save it, this baby of ours is truly loved and cherished). A truly beautiful discussion ensued about heaven and how wonderful it is and how in all the accounts of people who have been medically dead, seen heaven and returned, not one of them ever reported being happy about coming back to earth! It was a truthful discussion, yet one begun to mask pain and find a way to make the concept easier on us all. It’s a well known fact that if I die, and I say “if” because I’m quite certain Jesus will return prior to my demise, I want a party thrown, not a wake or a funeral. I want my children to be able to rejoice in the fact that I’m in heaven, I couldn’t enjoy heaven if I thought for one second they were grieving. I know, I’ve been told this is so weird, but it’s truly how I feel. At any rate, Dan and I went to get labs done, then we stopped in at Church to worship in front of the Blessed Sacrament and then went to my new doctor, (my regular doctor wanted me to go to the ER, I knew it was time for a change after Elly’s birth). We prayed quietly while waiting, we each prayed silently while talking with the nurse and the kids were at home praying as were my Aunt Sue and Aunt Kath (my prayer warriors). I promised my typical promises, “God I don’t care if we live in a cardboard box, I will gladly trade everything we have for the safety and protection of our little baby.” Again, to make a crazy long story as short as humanly possible, suffice it to say, our little baby’s heart is beating at a rate of 173 beats per minute, my Hcg levels are high, 163,000 (I’m 9 weeks) but we’re going to test again on Saturday and go from there. Right now, at this moment, our precious child is safe and protected in my womb. Right now, at this moment, I am giving thanks to God for His never ending love for us, I’m thanking God for my 12 miracles, for my husband and for my life. I am in a state of thankfulness even for these trials that serve as reminders to always take time to thank God for what you do have and to forget about what you don’t. I am also thanking God for knowing I’m a weak human being and for never pushing me past my ability to cope. Most of all I am thankful that despite all of our faults and failings, God loves us all unconditionally.

As always, we are just beginning a new endeavor & for anyone who knows us, this is no surprise.  We are always ALWAYS starting some new project/career/philanthropic adventure and, well, we are full on dedicated to ensuring Obama does not reside in the White House for the next 4 years!  We have joined forces with the American Patriots of the Roaring Fork Valley and are launching Western Patriots.  We are the West … Colorado, the United States … it’s all West.  We don’t think small.  When we started our family, we didn’t think small & look at us today.  When we started KelloggShow, we didn’t think small & have made so many great friends across the globe.  When we started SubSavvy, we didn’t think small and it exploded so quickly that we had to get a new server within 1 month of launching.  So of course we didn’t think small launching Western Patriots.  Our future and the future of our children depend on the success of this wonderful Republic and we will stop at nothing when it comes to our children.

Our site, Western Patriots,  is a non-partisan, grassroots organization of individuals united by our core values derived from the Constitution of the United States of America, the Bill of Rights, and the Declaration of Independence.

While the website is new, American Patriots of the Roaring Fork Valley is not.  We have simply revamped our name, to reach a much more National Audience and we are as solid as ever.  We welcome any and all feedback you may have and as always, if you would like to become an active participant there are many many ways in which you can help.  For example:

1. Activism – Coordinate rallies, protests, and events to activate Western Patriot members to promote our principles.

2. Community Events – Participate in a wide variety of  community events throughout the year where you could have a booth or table to share with people more about our vision for the future. We would provide you with literature to hand out, merchandise to sell, forms for interested people to sign up to volunteer, etc.

3. Community Outreach – Proactively reach out to college students, minorities, young & elderly voters and other members of the community to share with them the core Western Patriots principles of limited government, fiscal responsibility, Constitutional adherence, &  free markets.  This gives you an opportunity to squash any propaganda and false ideas they may have about the movement.

4. Education – Develop education programs for adults, college and high school students on the Constitution, history of our Founders, economics, current public policy issues, etc. 

5. Fundraising – Responsible for raising the needed funds to promote our five core principles, advocate Tea Party legislation, conduct voter registration drives, offer education courses,purchase merchandise such as T-Shirts and bumper stickers, & in the future to provide bus trips to DC, etc. We are 100% volunteer, so all funds go directly to advancing the Western Patriots cause.

6. Legislative – Propose and advocate  legislation at is consistent with our core principles of limited government, fiscal restraint, Constitutional adherence, free markets, and virtue and accountability.

7. Marketing/Media – Focus on pro-actively defining the Tea Party movement, our core principles and our 2012 agenda through the use of traditional and social media and use of marketing tools.

8. Membership – First person of contact for people wanting to be more involved in Western Patriots. This committee responds to emails and phone calls and contacs those who sign up to be on our email list or express interest in joining a committee.

9. Research – Research how politicians are voting on federal and state legislation, keepsWestern Patriots supporters informed on public policy initiatives, and provide research for candidate voter guides during elections.

10. Small Business – Provides forum for small business community to network with other patriots businesses, partner on advocating legislation, and assist in building the brand equity of the Western Patriots.

11. Writing – Using Western Patriots blog, Facebook and Twitter accounts, and email blasts, we communicate truth about and perspective on current events related to Western Patriots core principles. We also keep our supporters informed of any activities they may want to participate in.

Come check us out at Western Patriots and on facebook and twitter and every other social media site ever invented!  :)  Give us a holler if you’d like to become involved or have comments or suggestions.

Thanks a ton … good night, sleep tight!

Every year our family follows the typical tradition of giving something up in our lives, of doing without something that will be a burden, something that will be a sacrifice to give up.  We always reach for the stars and this year is no different.  For example,   I struggle with food.  I use it to celebrate, I use it to console and I use it to fill up that God hole all of us have inside us.  This Lent I am going to embark on a Fast.  46 days of RAW juice, nothing more, nothing less.  Fasting transforms my life, it puts things in perspective and, after the first week or so (during which, Watch Out) I find a peace that is quite unusual in my crazy life.

We are all trying to convince Dan to do without energy drinks, but I think he relies on those as much as we all do  oxygen, so we’ll see, but don’t hold your breath.  And, as for the kids, I think the majority consensus amongst the boys is to give up all video games.  And, of course, you know, every year, without fail, one of the kids ask if they can give up school, claiming it would be a burden to try to catch up or a burden to not have learned something.  Ha Ha, they think they are so clever.   Then there are the kids who originally plan to sacrifice everything and anything because they want to suffer …  The dichotomy between these two “plans”  is  a great way to reflect with our kids about why it is that we sacrifice and deprive ourselves during Lent.

Now, this year, we’ve decided to spice it up a bit and not only give something up, but also add something to our lives.  And so, we’ve decided to pray, as a family, for specific intentions for others after dinner throughout Lent.  Some of you may have seen our St. Valentine vlog, KelloggShow Valentine Vlog,  in it we talked about how we made a prayer vase and we wrote out lots and lots of names of friends, family, priests, politicians, and even special requests from viewers and others on little hearts.  The plan was to pick a name throughout the month of February and pray for that person.  Instead we have decided to expand on this idea and practice it throughout the Lenten season.   If you have a prayer request, please don’t hesitate to let us know and we will add your intention to the vase!!!

After dinner, one or two or three kids, depending on the number of names in the prayer vase, will pick a name after dinner and we will pray for that person and the intention listed on the heart.   I also think it would be cool to write their names on a calendar and let them know when we prayed for them … many miracles are performed through prayer and we have our own little prayer army, (I’m thinking out loud here) I think then we could email them or send them a card to let them know we prayed for them on such and such a date.   Then the person lifted in prayer can look back and witness to any miracles on that day.  Oh that’s just awesome!!  Would be even more amazing if they shared it with all of us.

And then, because I’ve gone craft crazy, in fact I’m even learning to knit with Kady and Kerry (who would have ever thought?), we are going to incorporate some ideas I’ve had, but never incorporated.  I’ll post pictures if and when we finish these “plans”.

The first idea, is for one of our kids (mommy has zero artistic talent) to make a Lenten Calendar on posterboard as a visual countdown to Easter for the younger kids.  Something tangible that they can see as we work our way through the traditions of  fasting, abstinence, prayer and The Stations.  It will show, of course, Ash Wednesday, the First Sunday, Second Sunday, Third Sunday, Fourth Sunday (Laetare Sunday), and fifth Sunday of Lent, the Feast of St. Patrick, Feast of St. Joseph (March 19th), the Anunciation of our Lord (March 25), Palm Sunday (April 1), Holy Thursday (April 5), Good Friday, Holy Saturday and of course Easter Sunday.  I can’t wait to see what they come up with … I’m known as the idea chick, the kids bring the ideas into fruition!!  :)

And of course our fav, Resurrection Eggs … see last year’s post (includes a video) that show you how to make your own Resurrection Eggs, the story behind them and how to use this activity with your kids!!  Here’s the link:  Resurrection Eggs How To   They’re simply plastic Easter Eggs that contain  different religious Easter symbols inside to help kids learn the Easter story.  My kids love the being able to touch the eggs and open them to reveal an item and a bible verse.  They can pretty much recite the verses on their own now.

 The link above gives all the details, from ideas of what to put in the eggs to the corresponding bible verses.   There is also a link to a fantastic book, Benjamin’s Box, The Story of The Resurrection Eggs … check it out, we love it!

And finally, there is the pretzel.  The pretzel, believe it or not, has a deep spiritual meaning for Lent, it’s actually the most appropriate food symbol for Lent.  Why?  How?  You mean the same food served at bars has spiritual meaning?  Yep, and it dates as far back as the 4th century!!  Way back in the Roman Empire, the faithful kept a very strict fast throughout all of Lent.  They tet no butter, no cheese, no eggs, no cream and no meat and drank no milk!!

They made small breads of water, flour and salt, to remind themselves that Lent was a time of prayer. Now, there are several stories surrounding how the pretzel was born, one claims a monk saw children in prayer and shaped this bread in the form of crossed arms  as that is how the people would pray in those days: with their arms crossed over their breast while praying. Another claims the people themselves did this and called the bread  ”little arms”. From this Latin word, the Germanic people later coined the term “pretzel.”

Regardless of it’s true origins, the pretzel still is made in the form of arms crossed in prayer, reminding us that Lent is a time of prayer. It consists only of water and flour, thus proclaiming Lent as a time of fasting.

Here is a fabulous pretzel recipe:

Soft Pretzel Recipe~ What you need:

• 1 package yeast
• 1 1/2 cups warm water
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1 tablespoon Kosher salt
• 4 cups flour

Mix your yeast, water, sugar, and salt in a large bowl. Stir in the flour, and knead until the dough is smooth. Shape into the form of arms crossed in prayer and place it on a baking sheet.  Sprinkle the top with salt, and bake in an oven preheated to 425 degrees for 15 minutes.

If anyone knows of a recipe that does not need yeast, please please pass it on to ME!!  :)  And, of course, please share your ideas, what you do with your family, your traditions, and any special things you do to bring Lent to life for your kids.  Feel free to post links to your blogs or your website in the comment section below.  God Bless you all, have a very focused Lenten Season and a Glorious Easter!

This may seem obvious to most, if not all of you, but there are some people in the fringe of society who have chosen to manipulate their religion into something grotesque. They are using their religion as a way to elevate themselves and denegrate all women. I’m floored at the lengths they will go and I’m no femininist. I truly believe if you are a mother, you have an obligation to stay home with your children, regardless of the sacrifice. I don’t want to hear all the “but what if’s”, especially the “what about single moms?” I have a friend who is a single mom to 2 kids and she stays home, works AND homeschools. Owned. “But not everyone can do that” — Why not? She sacrifices on every social level known to man to do what is right for her kids, why can’t you? What is your specific excuse?

I also believe that men are the head of the household. {gasp} That does not mean I demurely accept decisions handed down from the great Dan, rather, it means he’s responsible for a whole lot of stuff and he gets a great title that occasionally means he gets the last word on things. We are a team in this wonderful Sacrament of Marriage. We both bring a uniqueness to our family. I am nurturing, loving, caring and emotional. Dan is strong, level-headed and calm. We have a good cop/bad cop thing going. Dan goes out and reasons with the world. If that doesn’t work, I go in and holler, cry or threaten the world. And, lastly if that should fail, Dan simply beats the tarp outta the world. It works, it’s always worked. We complete each other. Dan is the first one to admit he needs me. And I need him. This is God’s plan, not some altered third world view of marriage, but a union, where two people become one for the benefit of each other and the world.

But, when it comes to our children, you better believe I am not just a pretty face in a lace dress, black flats and panty hose. Gag. Nope. I’m a mother bear, I am a carnivore in stilleto heels, a short dress and plunging neckline. Anyone who has been within earshot of me when I am upon my prey knows I AM the embodiment of Jekyll and Hyde. Is that feminine? In the eyes of God, yes. In Pope John Paul’s eyes, yes. I am a mother, I fight for the rights and well-being of my children.

I understand the man who spent his entire young life being ridiculed and picked on and made to feel nothing less than pathetic. I understand his need to exert himself and to right those wrongs. But you don’t do that from a religious pulpit. You do that in the gym – (though i’ve recently been told men don’t say gym, they say “lift weights”). You do that by learning to fight, perhaps? It is nothing less than disgraceful, and without a doubt a grave sin when a religion is distorted and scripture taken out of context, twisted and turned into a publicity stunt for someone to reinvent and raise themselves over others.

Where did this come from? Well, I was told by someone who holds himself up to be the next coming of Christ that I ought to forget about the upcoming elections and “vote for whomever Dan votes for”. That made Dan chuckle. There goes Free Will he said. I was then referenced in a blog by this same person that I was unfeminine because I am involved in political discussions, I was unfeminine because I promote and protect my religious beliefs, I was chastised and told that a woman’s place is under her husband’s foot, that her only job is in the home raising her children and serving her husband. This, shockingly, made me angry. It made me sad. It made me feel compelled to pray for him and his poor family. Dan of course loved it. He LOL and made references all night as to my place in the family. But Dan’s ideas were slightly different, it was more white T-shirt and water related.

I wonder about this man’s wife. But, she’s an adult, she made her bed. More-so I worry about his children. His sons will grow to be like their father – an egotistical man, who has found small minded minions whose only desire is to serve God to follow him in his quest for respect and validity under the guise of Catholicism. I worry for his daughters who will grow up without strength of character, without the ability to say no, without the ability to question anything. They will undoubtedly have his twisted version of religion imprinted on their brain. The devil is out there, Satan is lurking and God have mercy, for they know not what they do.

I am a wife, a mother and a crusader for a better world for my family. I believe God has imprinted my fighting spirit on my soul. Who am I to question Him? Why would I take a gift God gave me and let it wilt? I was born with a competitive nature, I was born with a quest for extremes and excitement. These are traits given to me by God. How would this man like me to channel these specific character traits? I could, perhaps enter a meatloaf competition? Is that feminine? Probably not, it’s a competition. The Garden Club could be an option, but God did not bless me with a green thumb, nor does our community have a garden club. I suppose I could get my adrenaline rush from disobeying Dan, but I’ve never been an obedient person, I’ve never allowed anyone to infringe upon my God-given right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, so that’s out as well.

This last sentence just begs the question of consequences. What, pray-tell, happens when she disobeys him? And, yes he does use this word. And, yes it does happen, because no-one is perfect … no-one. So she is a naughty wife and disobeys. Is she punished? Sent to her room? As a mom of 11 I would do whatever it took to be sent to my room, I’d be the most disobedient wife on the planet. It would be chaos. “Where’s mommy.” “She was sent to her room…again.”

As parents it is our God given responsibility to help our children find their strengths, their talents and their inner beauty. I have 6 boys, all of them are warriors. I have 5 girls, two are girly girls, competition doesn’t interest them, extreme sports, not so much. They are artistic and musically inclined. I have none of their talents. I have two girls for whom competition is their very nature. They compete in everything from who can finish school first, who gets the best grades to who is the fastest snowboarder, who can do the most tricks and who can stay on the wave the longest. The jury is out on little Elly, but if her spirit continues on the path she’s on now, we’ll have a sweet baby loving girl who fights for what she believes in. Who am I to curb her enthusiasm, to mold her into something other than that what God has plans for? We work with our children’s spirits, not against them.

Be very wary of false prophets, my friends. Glory is always given to God, not to priests, fathers or prophets. Married life is a bridge to God. As mothers we feed our children from our own bodies, they will eventually wean themselves of our milk, but we continue to feed their bodies, mind and soul. It is a huge responsibility. A parent’s love, no matter how good, is imperfect. It was never meant to take the place of God’s love. It was meant to foster a way to God’s love. It is our responsibility to remain humble and be strong, solid, if not fallible, bridges to God. “The Glory is given to God and thank God that he has given us the gifts of married life that we may have a glimpse, that we may have a way, that we may have a bridge to our Father in Heaven.” — Fr Michael Denk

Please read the below Letter From Pope John Paul II. It’s beautiful and describes eloquently and beautifully the role women play in today’s society. God made us all so very different and each of us is glorified in God’s eyes. Please, please take 5 minutes click the link and read the letter. God Bless.

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_let_29061995_women_en.html

PS-Sorry, R.A. … it’s all good.

My best friend in college was a crazy liberal … she probably still is, but, unfortunately, we don’t keep up like we used to – something about my kids and husband and her worldly travels that got in the way. I tell you about Julie because it’s case in point that things have changed. I remember when Bill Clinton was elected, we were in college and I, of course, hated the man and all he stood for and she hated Bush and all he stood for. We would debate and argue, but we never digressed into nastiness. The word idiot and moron and “Kool Aid” never surfaced … ever. I didn’t think she was a moron, on the contrary, I thought she was extremely smart to be able to keep up with me, I just thought she was dead wrong, maybe a little misguided, maybe a little fearful of the future, but definitely dead wrong.

Today, anytime you debate anything at all, even out of the realm of politics you get chastised and called names and treated with such contempt. I wonder where all the anger comes from? I wonder where the hatred comes from. Are people really that unhappy with their own lives that they lash out with jealousy everytime they are confronted with someone whose ideaologies, religious beliefs and political leanings differ from themselves?

I encountered a “man” named Mark – I’ll call him a man because I have etiquette that prevents me from calling him otherwise — who was so filled with anger, he was teetering on the edge of being very very scary, unstable, if you will. Let’s say, if he was a conservative, he’d make it to Homeland Security. In his mind, overpopulation is, and I quote, “the most evil thing affecting the planet.” The most evil? Really? More evil than say murder? More evil than child molestation, rape, kidnapping, torture, war, greed, gluttony, sloth, child abuse? Really? This said by a man with 3 children.

He said this during a debate re: the HHS decree that the Catholic Church go against it’s conscience, violate Church doctrine and provide health insurance that covers, among other things, abortion, abortifacients and sterilization! He was an ex-Catholic for a whole host of reasons, but it boiled down to the fact that you can’t just do whatever you want and pay lip service to being a “good person” – it’s not a feel good religion, it’s not about you, and since it’s not about you, it’s not easy so he left the Church. Personally, I wish all non-practicing Catholics would stop calling themselves Catholic, like this guy, but that’s probably not a popular stance. But now this Mark is as anti-Catholic as anyone I’ve ever met. He dripped disdain. Personally, I don’t understand this. Aren’t liberals the ones always screaming from the rooftops, Co-Exist, be tolerant, accepting of others differences? Isn’t that their mantra? Let me tell you, I’ve been on the butt-end of peoples rods who have this bumper sticker on their vehicles and spew it from their mouths every chance they get. I know what they really mean … they mean, if you agree with me, if you do as I do or as i think or as I want, we can co-exist, but as soon as you stray, we’ll cut you down at the knees. Dramatic? Not by a long shot.

I am as close to their mantra as you can get. I’m a libertarian conservative. Live and let live. Unless you are my child, I don’t care if you are promiscuous, if you are Muslim, if you are pink, if you have tattoos, if you wear your pants around your ankles, if you color your hair green and wear a mohawk, if you drive a huge SUV or a Smart Car, if you are gay, if you go to Church, if you love Justin Bieber. I don’t care if you smoke pot or cigarettes, I don’t care if you co-habitate, or even bathe, I don’t care what you do, just don’t infringe upon my rights, my liberties to do what I want to do and I won’t infringe upon your rights and liberties to do what you want to do. You liberals think this mantra sounds great, but it goes against every grain in your body. You don’t want to co-exist. You want to mandate what everyone else can and cannot do. What it really comes down to for liberals is an all-out rebellion against religion. Liberals want to legislate their way out of morality. It suits them to believe that government supercedes God.

Just as with this Mark guy. And let me tell you, he’s not some guy in freakin Eurasia, he lives right here in our little town. I know his brother, his niece runs Cross Country with my daughter. Mark has a photography studio (which I will never use or recommend and from what I hear is simply a front because he’s a … loser who likes to talk about how crazy he used to be, but he really was a bit of a sissy, but I digress) — he is a local guy talking to a local girl and he went nuts.

But the real reason I wrote this (98 paragraphs in, I finally get to the main topic) was to point out that there were others in the conversation, 6 in all, I believe, 4 of us who agreed that the government cannot take away religious liberties protected by the constitution (I wouldn’t support a govt mandate that pork be served at Orthodox Jewish celebrations either, just sayin) and 2 who disagreed. One of the men who sided with the crazy guy was as polite and respectful to all involved (which surprised me, because he was on the other side of the butt end that I referred to earlier, but perhaps he was mis-informed) Like I said, I have no beef with anyone who disagrees with me, believe whatever you want, God have mercy on all our souls, that’s what free will is. Everyone who agreed with the poster was polite and respectful of the other two.

So there were 6 of us engaged in this convo and maybe one or two who were “liking” posts, but not commenting. When this man went bananas on me not one of them stood up to him and said, “Back off, she’s a lady.” Not when he called me a moron, or ignorant or stupid or the main cause of human starvation. Not when he referenced the fact that I’d be dead myself in less than 10 years, (mind you at 37, I’m almost 20 years his junior). Not once. Perhaps my brilliant posts gave people the idea that I was more than capable of standing up for myself, which I am, maybe I gave the impression that he wasn’t getting to me, which he wasn’t, but there were 4 men, 2 women conversing. Crazy went after the first woman as well, with equal amount of venom as he did I and no-one stood up for her either. Are my expectations of men too high again? I’m telling you, I must live in a bubble where my honor is protected, where the guys I know cut a brother off if they disrespect the women in their company. The girls I hang out with regularly, they all expect this as well, and their husbands deliver. It’s something I don’t even think about until it is absent, such as here.

I love chivalry, I love being a woman. I love the fact that I am the one who carries her baby for 9 months, the one who gives birth, the one who nurses, the one who nurtures. Dads are the tough guys, they’ve got a different role, one they can keep, because I like mine. Of course, there was a time when women talking politics was frowned upon, that’s sexism, but there was a time when women were highly respected and treated like royalty, that’s chivalry. Now, it seems, men and women are the same. Men and women all go to war, we all work, we all change the oil in our cars, we all cook, we all send our kids off to daycare, we are so equal, we’ve become the same. If this is the lifestyle you want, feel free I wouldn’t dare deny, I just don’t want it to creep its ugly head into my world and infect my daughters and my sons and my own self. I want equality, I don’t want sameness … that’s boring.