Homeschooling A Ton of Kids? Yeah, I Don’t Wanna!

The latest battle of the moms is homeschooling.  Those who do think they are God’s gift to parenting and those who don’t think they are entirely too busy, too impatient, too uneducated, too involved with work, too unorganized, and {insert your reason here}.

The fact is, unless you’re a meth addict or the like, there is no valid excuse except that you just plain don’t want to!  This is because we always find a way to do what we want regardless of the obstacles … ALWAYS!

So, why not just say, I don’t want to?  “I don’t want to homeschool my kids”. It’s totally understandable.  Really.  I mean why make up excuses?  Why let that snobby homeschool mom like me judge your choices?  If you choose not to homeschool, and everything we do is a choice, why not own that choice?

“I don’t want to” is my reason for not doing anything I don’t want to do. Dishes?  I don’t want to.  Laundry, yeah, I don’t want to.  Hence, here are my reasons for homeschooling:

I don’t want to wake up at the crack of dawn and beg tired kids to wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast.  I don’t want to make sure they have their homework for Mr A’s class so they won’t miss recess.  Dear Mother of God, I don’t want to have the wardrobe fight at 6:00 am.  Or at anytime at all, really.  My homeschool kids can wear plaid with stripes for all I care, they can pair pink and red.  They don’t even have to brush their hair … heck I rarely do.

I don’t want to pack lunches every night, or worse, every morning.  I’d have 9 of those suckers to make every day.  I don’t keep enough pretzels or crackers or whatever else Mrs Obama has declared health food in my house for daily sack lunches.  Yes, homeschool children eat, but it’s random and can be more like here’s some carrots and celery and hummus or even bread and water on “those” days!

I don’t want to train my children for a cubicle job.  Whilst your child is learning the valuable skills of “whole body listening” my rowdy homeschool kids can probably be found outside learning about … dirt.  They rarely listen, to anything, they just flop on couches with books, or pace the house (or RV) while learning whatever they feel like learning.  Some of my crazy kids even do the majority of their learning outside!  (egads!) And some of my crazy kids have even started businesses!

whole body listening

I also don’t want to listen to my child crying because he had to write some lame refocus form for some lame infraction like running too fast on the playground or going up the slide the wrong way or for taking his shoes off (all really happened).  I don’t respond well to other people’s absurdity, so it’s best I keep my kids home with me where the absurd is of my own making.

I really don’t want to have to go in to the school all irate because some lunatic nazi lunch lady decided quiet lunches were the new norm.  Quiet lunch.  As in, no talking at all.  At. All.  Nor do I want to have to go all ninja on a 3rd grade teacher who tells my son he’s a juvenile delinquent because he fell out of line on a walk.  And then go back again after the same meanie teacher tells my daughter her mom is a bad mom because I scheduled a dentist appt during school.  I’m getting older, my ninja skills are ready to be retired.  I’m also a die hard ID channel viewer (when I can) and well we know I have some knowledge … just saying.

Neither do I want to do any projects that aren’t directly related to reality.  I homeschool because I already did school. I went through 17 years of school and I have 2 degrees in a box … somewhere?  During those 17 years, I did one million projects.  I, of course, can’t list them because I have no recollection of them because they made zero impact on my life.  I vow that my kids will never know the definition of the God awful project known as diorama!  I won’t be graded on my Science Project (I mean my kids science project, that I had minimal involvement in, I swear … seriously.  Pinkie Promise).

I homeschool because I got tired of hearing how amazing, talented, smart and gifted my kids were.  I got really tired of hearing how well behaved they were because I know they are NOT well-behaved.  They try to kill each other on a daily basis.  So why the heck should someone else get all the good hours with my kids?  If they are truly behaving from 8-3:30 then by golly,  I want those hours.  I reclaimed the good for myself the day I said see ya to the schools.

Which brings me to the number 1 reason I think ya’ll don’t want to homeschool, don’t get mad, don’t get all ninja irate (see above) …your kids drive you crazy.  YOUR kids drive YOU crazy.  Read that with the appropriate accent.  So instead of you raising your children to be amazing, talented, smart, gifted and well-behaved young people, you pawn them off on the school system of choice.  HA!  Brilliance.

I just wish I wasn’t so selfish…Getting up early in the morning and cutting short my cuddles with Coby & Elly would kill me.  Picking them up in the afternoon would interfere with our kayaking or cuddling or snowboarding or paintball, or reading or lego building or whatever.  And, you know, that would be such a drag.  Driving them all over the world for their after-school activities would all but destroy our quiet peaceful evenings – not gonna let that happen. And let’s not even mention homework.  Homework times 9 — I’d … I dunno what I’d do.  Another intrusion on our family. I’m just too selfish to let that happen!!

What decisions do you own that aren’t the most popular?  Independence is tough, eh?

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39 Comments

  • I am SO proud of you! Way to go on discovering the hidden, un-discussed treasure of home schooling…isn’t it fabulous how it builds such strong relationships with you and your kids, and each other?!

  • I just sent this blog to everyone I know. Funny, light and oh so true. I was the one you described at the end until my son was being bullied by teachers, of all people. I yanked him from school immediately after a teacher put him in the bathroom for 15 minutes because he laughed in class. I have never looked back. Thank you for your honesty and fun family. We love the Kellogg’s.

  • Ok, you stole the words right out of my mouth!! I AM too selfish! I want my kids! And I LOVE that we are together as a family as they grow up. Thank you for sharing and putting to words exactly how we feel!! P.S. Come and see us out here in sunny AZ! We would LOVE to meet you in person!

  • I currently stay home with my 3 and 4 year ol and I have a 8 year old in public school . I admire, enjoyed and respect your post. I do feel that the ability to say home and home school is not something everyone can do and for some it’s not a choice. I have been fortunate to have been able to stay home and the publi school drives me more nuts then my kids! I know for my family there will be a moment where I will have to choose between feeding my kid and even having a roof over our heads or staying home. It’s not about needing to work so my kids can have iPads etc it’s about not living in poverty. I admire so much what you are able to do I just think there are some of us that are in the middle, who can’t just decide to stay home and do it. When it comes to my kids starving I will work and provide. The public school is crazy but at the end of the day it’s my job I make it work for my son.

  • I can’t believe this. You have your heads screwed on so great. My wife has been talking bout homeschooling and I’ve been negating. Not anymore.

  • I’m a single mom. I homeschool, because it was a priority. Thank you for constantly letting me know my sacrifices are not for nothing.

  • I’m so shocked you haven’t gotten any You horrible person you, responses! This is such a great post. My kids drive me crazy and I’m not afraid to admit it. I would not homeschool for anything in the world, but you’re right. I don’t want to. New follower right here. LOL

  • Hi, I love this blog entry and I totally enjoy keeping up with you guys. I was a single working Mom who raised four kids alone. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything in the world, but it was tough. If I could have homeschooled, I would. maybe a part of me didn’t want to because I always had to work. I will admit there were so many times I longed to, thinking they’d do better than they would at those schools. I really didn’t have too many issues until middle school and high school. I’m all for homeschooling and love to hear about how it can work out so well! My kids are grown now, and I have a little grandson, so it’s a little late for that…but never will I forget all those precious moments, only wishing there were more. we had as many adventures as humanly possible when they were growing up!

  • oh and I remember those days of looking for shoes and lost clothing and all the chaos and craziness. and then feeling a little sadness after dropping them off to head for work. for a few years, I was able to send them to a wonderful progressive school right across the street from my work! it was so awesome to be able to have lunch with the kids and be so close to them. you just have to figure out what works best for you, right?

  • ~>I also do not want to get up at the crack of dawn, just to say good bye for most of the day, to my kids. I know some may think Homeschooling would be too hard to do, but IMO, sending my kids to public/private school would be more work. That is why I agree with you! If parent’s would be honest with themselves, they would just say, I don’t want too! Because as Mom’s, we can overcome anything, if we really want to.
    Honestly, I don’t send my kids to public/private school, because I don’t want too! I love being with my kids everyday. Being there, watching them grow and learn! Whether its watching them do their T4L school work, or finally learning to read, discovering the great out doors, etc. 🙂
    I really applaud you, for being so brave, as to be so honest.
    Great Post!

  • Love your view! I’ve been contemplating homeschooling and reading way too many blogs of un-happy moms who are homeschooling. I was beginning to think this was the norm, that eventually everyone comes to loath homeschooling and trudging through to finish off each homeschool year. Never thought of it from the other side of coming from a school system to homeschooling. Love it!

  • I LOVE your blog. This is exactly how I feel. We are just working on the “Wannabe” Full-Time stage. I love blogs like yours that can give me positive perspectives on this great adventure. I enrolled my 7 year old in school for the first time 4 months ago. Not liking it at all. I only put him in there to gain some reading skills. He has some axiety issues we are working through so this tiny school where we are currently located is helping tremendously. But we should be back on the homeschooling path soon. I am wondering if you know of any blogs he could check out? I feel that if he could connect with other RVing children it would be tremendously helpful. He is more ready for this new lifestyle than I am. He is a totally free-spirited outdoors child. Thank you in advance.

    • I love the fact that kids love this lifestyle as much, if not more than adults … but then, think about it … it’s a kids dream life!! 🙂

  • It’s SO insulting to say people who choose to send their children to school are “pawning them off”. I’m sure you don’t like being judged on your lackadaisical childrearing and those of us who are doing the best for our kids don’t appreciate the put down either.

    • Oh I see what you did there…clever. Condemned me for judging you whilst you judged me!! Oh, why oh why is everyone so up in arms about being judged? If you’re cool with how you are raising your kids, who cares what judgmental people think?

    • Lackadaisical parenting? These parents? Are you for real? Do you even know what that means? No- one who spends as much time as these parents with their kids can be characterized as lackadaisical. I send my kids to school & believe I’m pawning them off to someone else to educate. You don’t?

  • I LOVED THIS STORY, I COULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER (REASONS TO HOMESCHOOL);)THINKING OF HOMESCHOOLING MY DAUGHTER

  • This article saddens me. I have been homeschooling for five years. I am completely at peace that, next year, my kids will be attending the local public school. We are in a smaller school district and I truly believe it will be the best for them and me.

    What saddens me is how condescending your article is. Even if people choose to send their kids to public school does not mean they are pawning them off or that they do not enjoy spending time with their children. I have been a stay at home mom for eight years and I love spending time with them. I understand your reasons but, my, it seems like to me you are on the defensive and maybe a little bitter about how you have been treated in the past. This post does not make me want to keep homeschooling, it just opens my eyes to how you have been hurt.

  • There should be some middle ground between the ridiculous extremes presented above. Are the majority of lunch ladies nazis? Was a kid actually called delinquent for “falling out of line”? Doubtful. Is it really that hard to have a kid dressed in the morning? Does sending your kid to school mean they are bound for a meaningless cubicle? Nonsense.

    We homeschool 4 kids. People homeschool for different reasons… more time with their kids, spiritual reasons, control of what kids are learning, fear, a kid which needs special attention. Regardless of one’s motives I have never agreed with the anything goes, kids aren’t dressed or wearing shoes, kids don’t follow directions way of doing things. Public schools could use major improvement. Homeschoolers could use a measure of organization.

    As a homeschool husband I am sick of the “God bless this mess” mentality. I agreed to homeschool. I did not agree to perpetual chaos and raising kids without structure. I would venture to say that a huge percentage of homeschool husbands feel this way, but have run out of options. At the end of the day, you have to support whatever nonsense is going on in the homeschool “classroom” even if your wife has veered significantly off course over time. To battle a self-righteous, messy homeschool mother could ultimately lead to divorce and losing more influence over your kids… And as the husband you still will end up financing your ex wife’s “right to homeschool”.

    • Hey Kevin,

      You missed the entire point of the blog … it was a tongue in cheek response to the “mommy wars” … it was not a serious blog, plus it was 3 years ago and I was a young writer, my sarcasm has evolved greatly. Check out the rest of our site and you will become more acquainted with who we are and what we stand for!! Have a great weekend!! 🙂

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