A 10 Year Old’s Perspective on Love, Grief and Loss

I keep thinking that it’s just not fair that I had to let Angel go to Heaven.  But then I remind myself that Angel must be a very special little girl because God wanted her with Him.  I then think of Angel running in the clouds and playing in Heaven and that makes me smile. 

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When I was little I always wanted a kitten.  Every year it was on my Christmas list and every year I asked for a kitten for my birthday.  I even knew what I was going to name her.  Angel.

Finally, on my tenth birthday, my mommy and daddy got me a kitten.  They surprised me.  We were in Columbus, GA.  We woke up, went kayaking and then went to lunch at The Black Cow.  Then everyone told me we were going to get my big “surprise”.  I had no idea that surprise was a kitten.

When we arrived at the shelter, my brothers blindfolded me and we walked in.  I still didn’t know what we were doing.  When the blindfold came off, I almost cried.  Right in front of me were baby kittens.

I looked at all the kittens, but one little kitten chose me.  She was climbing the kennel and meowing so loud.  I opened her kennel and picked her up and she nuzzled right into me and stopped crying.  She wanted me.  She was my kitten.

I could not believe she was mine.  Getting Angel was a dream come true.

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When we left the shelter we drove to the pet store and bought her a carrying kennel, so I could take her everywhere.  We also bought some food, bowls, a litter box and a few toys.

When we got back to the RV I showed her where her litter box was and then we took her to the grass to play.  She didn’t like grass at all.  She liked to cuddle most of all.   I was so happy, I loved her so much.

All day we cuddled her, played with her, gave her lots of water and food.  She went everywhere with me and slept on my pillow.  I even took her to a birthday party that my mommy and daddy’s friends threw for me.

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I fell asleep that night dreaming about Angel coming home with me.

The next day, I woke up and Angel was still right next to me.  We fed her, gave her water and then did all the things we did the first day.  We just loved her.  So much.

Then, on Saturday, 3 days after Angel came home to live with me, we drove to Richmond, VA to see our best friends.  Everything was perfect.  Angel was perfect.

But, that night Angel started not feeling well.  She had diarrhea and she seemed so tired.  My daddy and Brody went to the pet store and bought some kitten formula and a kitten bottle to try to perk her up and keep her hydrated.  I held her close and tried to make her feel better.

She seemed to get better with the formula.  She really really liked it and it seemed to make her feel better too.  She played with the nipple, chewing it and sucking on it.  Around 2 am we went to bed.

I wish I never went to bed.  I wish I stayed up with her all night, but I didn’t know.  My mommy and daddy didn’t know.

The next morning around 6:30 my daddy went to check on her and he was very worried.  My mommy woke me up and she and Brody ran to the the emergency vet.  That was the last time I would ever see Angel.  I wrapped her in a towel and gave her a kiss.  I didn’t know that was a goodbye kiss.

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She died on April 26, 2015.  I will never forget that day.  Mommy called the vet, they were doing CPR on Angel right then.  She had tears in her eyes and then she hugged me.  I didn’t know what was wrong.  I asked, “What happened?”

Mommy started crying and she said Angel went to heaven.  We fell to the floor in a hug and sat there and cried.  Everyone was crying.  We all loved her so much.

We had a memorial at our best friend’s house.  Brody said a prayer and I held her in her little box.  I have never felt so sad in my whole life.  She is buried in their yard and they said they are going to put an Azalea bush there.

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It’s only been two weeks since Angel died and the sadness just won’t leave my heart.  I still cry a little.  I will always love her.  Always.

But I know that …

Angel lived happily ever after in Heaven.

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