I live in a house with 7 boys. That is not a typo, you read that right. 7 unbelievably true to gender BOYS!
God help me right?
I mean 7 boys could kill someone. I swear it. I think, truth be told, they’ve almost killed me a few times. And, no, not the way you are thinking. No, they don’t really drive me crazy, like I’m not gonna lose my mind because I have 7 boys. I think they actually keep me young … for real.
Rather, they are actually, possibly, going to kill me physically. Every second of every day, I’m walking around on guard because, with boys, you never know what is around the corner.
If you have even 1 boy, you know what I’m talking about. Boys are like wild dogs. They are unpredictable, untameable and completely, utterly politically incorrect.
At least mine are. They follow the stereotypical boy script. Crazy, wild, rough, dirty, fearless, and a strong aversion to rules. They are a very different breed from us girls and I don’t care how hard you try to tell me that the two sexes are indistinguishable, I’ll never believe you.
I have 5 girls and 7 boys and they are as different as night and day and this is not because I beat their gender into them. I mean who has time for that? I let them be. I let them play and they segregate themselves.
Not always, but most of the time, you’ll find the girls playing dolls or some version of house and the boys? The boys will be off trying to destroy something or light it on fire or literally defy all oddsof gravity. It’s nature, folks.
Need more proof?
A friend posted a status the other day stating her son just informed her he hadn’t bathed in three weeks. She could not prove it wasn’t true. You can gasp if you want to, but at what age do you stop tracking your kids’ bathing schedule? I mean at some point you no longer follow them in to the bathroom, right?
Or maybe not. Maybe with boys you need to track their hygiene practices? I don’t know. We travel in an RV. We stop to shower, everyone showers, we move on. We brush our teeth at approximately the same times every day, if someone isn’t wearing deodorant everyone complains and the offending person slinks away and remedies the situation.
Perhaps living in tight quarters has benefitted my boys’ hygiene awareness? Who is to say? What I can tell you is that there are things that when you put 7 boys in a house … be it a 36’ RV or a 5000 sq ft mansion … that would leave you breathless and quite possibly dead.
Things you couldn’t imagine in your wildest dream (or nightmares) happening in your own home, unless you have a multitude of boys who are spaced ridiculously close together and follow the stereotypical behavior assigned to boys.
Things like the following:
Dan and I both have nearly died on several occassions when our boys have flown off of countertops onto our unassuming backs. Like seriously BOY? Who does that shit? Apparently all 7 of my boys.
And it’s not just off countertops. Off of roofs of cars, out of trees and I’ve even had a boy jump onto my back and take me down while walking into a store. Downed MMA style. Of course they don’t mean to hurt anyone, they are just being their stereotypical selves … acting first and thinking second, if at all, which all adults could benefit from. And, they love us and we are fun people, I just wish they understood I’m much more fragile than I appear.
When I was a mommy to just sweet, kind, calm, adorable, gentle Kerry I was appalled by the action of boys. I thought their mothers were raising Tarzans as they had no sense of space, no sense of decorum and they were loud, loud, loud.
Then I was blessed with Grady and then Brody. i was no longer the perfect mother of the perfect child. Boys are loud. They talk loud, they walk loud, they open and close things loud and they play loud. All mothers of boys need to have friends with boys!
I’ve concluded that boys need to be outside as much as possible. The outdoors is their haven, where they can be boys without being shushed, without being repressed. They can run and yell and explore and learn and become the brave, confident little boys they are designed to be!
As in no holds barred, wrestling. As in take each other out, no rules wrestling. Here’s the thing, I love wrestling as much as the next person, it’s fun and it’s an incredible workout, but I’m a girl and they are boys. Unfair match-up. Even the Marines have a different set of requirements for their female soldiers. I’m even pretty strong (you have to be), but they can get me into positions I just have no defense for.
The other day Dan was wrestling me. I started yelling for Grady or Brody because that’s what I do when Dan “attacks” as there is nothing I can do. Grady came to my aid and it got CRAZY. So crazy that Dan destroyed his toes … not exactly death, but extreme pain.
I count us as the lucky ones, whose kids, regardless of age still find us relevant enough to play with, fun enough to hang out with and smart enough to consult …
It is no secret that boys destroy things. At one point, our house had zero screens on the windows because the boys would remove them to climb out. Walls were constantly being patched because they would always be putting accidental holes in them, from wrestling or tricks, or riding little toy cars into them … it was never ending
They also break bikes and skate boards, even helmets from their high flying antics. Dally has the recognition of being one of maybe two kids who have ever EVER cracked a Jackson Fun 1 kayak. They are made so soundly, that I think two, in the history of the company, have ever been broken. Put that in your hat …
And with the gift of destruction comes the equally grand gift of learning how to fix things. Our boys, can all patch holes, fix screens, rebuild door jams, unclog toilets, repair cabinet doors, rebuild garden walls … genuinely they are the Mr Fix-its of our home!
Boys exude confidence and they are exceptionally brave as a result. Boys will test their limits over and over until they have no limits. They will forge ahead until they have conquered every fear and every obstacle.
This is what terrifies us moms. Boys take risks and those risks sometimes can have deadly consequences, especially as they get older and take on bigger challenges. But, if you’ve been guiding them and teaching them each and every day, they have the skills and the ability to discern the danger vs their ability.
Boys don’t stop moving. As in never. From the moment they wake up to the moment they literally pass out while brushing their teeth they are going, going, going. It’s an endless, yet beautiful, game of cat and mouse. Some days, it seems my job is to keep them alive, others just keeping me alive is the goal!
I love the energy of boys, I love their all day, every day excitement for the moment. I love that their spirits are almost always high and that while it takes a tsunami to bring them down, it takes only a hug to bring them back. They look at life through a lens I’ve never seen through. One where they can do anything and anything is possible!
Boys give their heart willingly without any reservations. They love they way they live … with 100% off their being.
Parenting boys is nothing but an endurance test. If you can keep up, it’s the best ride of your lifetime. Boys need love and guidance … there is little drama, the are slow to anger and quick to forgive.
That old adage, boys will be boys is truth, but parents need to be parents as well!! If you teach them that there is a time and a place for everything, and follow up with, a time and a place for their energy to be used for good … you will have a happy, content, well-behaved, loving, caring, confident boy! 🙂